As it turns out, Megan Fox won’t ever need to suck up to Michael Bay to get her Transformers role back. Not only will she be working on a Judd Apatow film, this time, she’s been requested to star in a bio-pic — Katie Price has publicly revealed that she wants Megan to play her character. Frankly speaking, I’m surprised that there even is a bio-pic being made about Katie, but hey, at least this means that we’ll finally get to see more of Megan. She definitely deserves it!
Would you like to know what I’ve learned? Life is what you make of it, and the greater the risk, the greater the reward. Love is an illusion, and I out of sight really is out of mind. It’s definitely great to be selfish sometimes. Be selfish with soul, self and success. Fuck the world, you are King. Follow your path and keep close to those that walk WITH YOU. Misery really does love company, happiness does still exist, and dreams do come true. Nothing lasts forever so enjoy every moment because I heard life is short.
God is going out of style people and mother nature doesn’t like it…
Can you hear it? It’s but a whisper… a tiny taste of sour to your ears. It’s like the rumble before the stampede. It’s coming. Chaos.
Two days, two songs. I’m starting to crave the microphone again. All I want to do is record now. I blog when I can, I don’t take pictures anymore. My eyes are focused directly on the prize. These songs I’ve written here are all straight from the soul… heartfelt and real. The novelty has definitely worn off. This is where I live now, for a while at least.
Today I finally got a little boxing in. I had no type of strength cause my body is still in pain from the other days of training. When I got home, we just ate, smoked and recorded for the rest of the day. I’m sorry there’s not more to tell or see, but this is what happens when you making an album. What happens if this thing blows? Can u imagine? This little tumblr is gonna become very valuable to me in that case lol.
I’ve been here for a few days now, nearly a week. Music is starting to come, songs are beginning to be made. This is the grind period. These are the dues that have to be paid in order to pave the way to dreams. I’m sore. Gym session after gym session I find out a little more about how out of shape I actually am. The little home sickness I have is being replaced with hunger. “Let’s get this done.” Give me beat after beat till its done. I’m giving my soul to this again. The songs are relevant and real. Truth. Focusing on the music is becoming easier and easier. Just knowing everyone’s alright, and what’s at the end of the road is enough.
It came up again today. “You’re not going home.”, yes the fuck I am. I can’t let that change, cause when that goes I’m gone. And that means I gave up. I believe in a higher power and the idea of everything happening for a reason. I made a promise though and I intend to keep it.
Today was the first time I had space to myself. An empty household, a lap top, a desktop and a microphone. So it was blogging and recording all day. It was rough recording. My lungs are full of smoke now and my liver must corroded judging by my strict diet of nicotine and liquor over the last year. So at the point of light headedness, I decided to take a jog and try to clear my lungs up some. It was really mood changing. The gym was fucking horrible, I almost threw up.
It still a little rough to fully focus on the task at hand. It’s like I know what I’m supposed to do, but I can’t stop thinking about home. It’s hard to start a new life when ur in love with the thought of how the old life could end up. I guess I’m just confused. I’m sure I’ll want to stay here when it finally time to go home. That’s just the type of shit that happens to me.
The worst part is trying to keep things with HER on the right terms. I try to make sure I call and text, but she’s dealing with the distance her own way. We don’t lie to each other. Not by mouth or by faking the want to be together. I think I panic cause I want it, but it’s hard to feel it. I want to feel it again, cause I love it.
Day 3… Jam Session. I was in the studio for most of the day today. I was attempting to engineer myself which was a total disaster. I ended up getting a pretty good hook out of it all so I’m not complaining.
This is Jared and I’s first time just letting go. No writing at all. He played the beat on his keyboard and we just vibed. So this is what it sounded like.
Sometimes girls take too much pride in being virgins at fucking 14. That’s not quite the amazing feat you think it is, especially since half of y’all haven’t been in a situation where dick was even available for you to turn down. In a couple more years, after times like that occur, if you’re still a virgin THEN pat yourself on the back.
"Success… success… oh how I lust you sweet success. What you are is neither here nor there, you’re such a mirage oh sweet success." -ME
Success is an idea, or maybe “ideal” would be a better word? not sure. Success to me is the ability to do whatever you want in life. If you choose to work a 9-5 everyday for the rest of your life, then you sir are successful. Is that so bad? I question that sometimes.
I think success is a vague synonym for happiness. The hardest part of finding happiness is not know what truly makes you happy. I find it hard to imagine myself doing something that doesn’t make me happy, but I can’t figure out what I want to do totally. Looks like sometime very so I’m going to have some decisions to make, and a few mistakes to forgive myself for.
Here I am… Los Angeles, California. I’ve been planning for this day for months. Now that I’m here, I can’t help but to think about what I left. I’ve moved around all my life and I’ve never missed a person like I miss her. It’s crazy to me. I haven’t even been here 24 hours yet.
I’ve heard the beats for the album after pre-production already and they sound as dope as expected. It’s definitely going to be a challenge tho. I have to maintain a 5 day a week workout regiment, and really live the life. It really sucks that my joy can be clouded so much from the absence of a human being. Cali seem the same as any other place in this country I’ve found myself in. The only difference is there’s money everywhere and I have to get my hands on some of it. My mind state is simply on the task at hand for the most part, and sleep has become a luxury. We’re setting a two month deadline for writing and laying vocals, and I intend to use every second wisely.